FAQ

How do I know if it’s too soon after my child’s death to attend?
No one can say with certainty when is the right or wrong time to come to a meeting. Some family members come shortly after the child has died while others wait a longer period. This is a very personal decision and neither is right or wrong.

Do I need a reservation before I come to a meeting?
No, you do not need a reservation, you are always welcome.

If I go to a meeting, will I have to talk?
No one is required to talk at any meeting. We understand how difficult this can be when our grief is fresh and you may find comfort in just in listening at this time.

Is there a charge to attend?
There is never a charge to attend a TCF meeting. Our chapters rely on voluntary donations from members, friends, and the community at large.

My child was an adult and didn’t live at home. Can I still go to a meeting?
Chapter meetings are open to all families that have experienced the death of a child, at any age (including pre-birth), from any cause. Regardless of our child’s age, we in TCF believe our children will always be thought of as just that . . . our children.

My spouse won’t come with me. Can I come alone?
Yes, we all grieve differently and your spouse or significant other may not be ready to take part at this time.

Can I bring a friend with me the first time for support?
Of course, you may bring a friend, but we ask that they, as well as all members, respect each other’s privacy. It is important for us to be able to share freely within our group and be sure confidences will be respected.

Do men attend meetings?
Yes, many chapters are divided almost evenly in numbers between men and women while others are not. We all grieve differently and everyone is welcome and encouraged to attend meetings for support.

What happens at a meeting?
At our meeting you may arrive anytime after 6:30 for a meet and greet time.  If this is your first time attending we ask that you plan on arriving at 6:30, if possible.  We would like to meet you before the start of the meeting.  Our meeting will begin at 7:00 with introductions and a brief time of sharing.  We may then break out into small groups later coming back together to once again share and close the meeting at approximately 9:00.  At other times, we may have short programs before or after the sharing time. The programs may include a brief guest speaker, viewing a DVD, or listening to a CD on specific topics.

I have babysitting problems, is this a concern?
While we understand the difficulties of finding child care, we must ask that any child attending with you be old enough to understand the meeting discussions and not be upset by them.  Please contact us if you would like to discuss if your child should attend.

My child died seven years ago, and I postponed my grief work. Now it’s catching up with me. Is it too late to come now?
We all grieve differently. Many parents don’t feel the need for a support group until years after the death of a child. It’s all right to come whenever you are ready, whether it’s soon after your child’s death, months later, or years later.

How long do people come to meetings?
Each person is different some attend fewer meetings while others come longer as grief knows no time line.  Some are thankful for the support they’ve received and stay to work within the chapter so they can be there for the next persons who walk through the doors seeking help.

Why is it that TCF recommends that I attend three to four meetings before deciding if it’s for me?
Often, the first meeting brings a lot of emotions to the surface and this may make the first meeting difficult.  Attending three to four meetings gives you time enough to allow your emotions to even out and to understand that in sharing there is healing. By attending three to four meetings you will also be able to observe the different dynamics of the group as different members attend and share.